As I reminded The Boy about his psychologist-schmychologist appointment, and The Girl that tomorrow was indeed, movie night….I realized, “holy crap, it’s already Friday”. This week has just slipped right by me. I then realized I went the whole week without posting anything of substance here. I came face to face with the “So what? I blog for myself…I shouldn’t be feeling any pressure to…what?….be interesting? post regularly?” Right. Sure. Even though that is what caused me to walk away before, and I said it wouldn’t happen this time, the blog vortex has sucked me in. Which would explain why I am sitting here typing this at 3 freakin’ AM. But in giving it a second more thought, something else occurred to me -why do I have nothing to write? I actually could write….I could write all about how The Boy has a very exciting opportunity that has presented itself to him…and I watched him shift from excitement, to discouragement, to resignation…and very nearly pass on an amazing experience…one that most kids would kill for….because of fear. Stupid, life-consuming, Boy stealing emetophobia. I could write about how The Girl finally told a joke that made sense…or that she knows the sound every letter of the alphabet makes…and is dying to learn to read. I could write about the fact that I am tired of everything being such an ordeal with The Boy. Eating, sleeping, learning. Things people just take for granted. I mean…eating? I could write about The Girl developing an attitude the likes of which I have never seen in someone under 4 feet tall……Sure, I could write about all of that….but….what I could not write about, was me. I have written novels about The Boy. I have typed chapters on The Girl. I thought that perhaps a post about me was overdue. It is my personal blog, after all. Have you ever gotten to the point where life is just swirling around you, and you are running yourself in circles (or into the ground), and you can’t seem to find a moment for a thought that is your own? So, the thing is, I would love to talk about me….but at this moment…I’ve got nothing.
Let’s Talk About Me
April 27th, 2007 · 9 Comments
Tags: I write Crap · Me
9 responses so far ↓
1 // Apr 27, 2007 at 6:17 am
My mom will call and she’ll say “So, what did you do today?”…and I’m at a loss. Even though I did a million things, when I recite them they sound like pointless nothing. It’s the same with blogging at times. When there is so much going on - you’d think you’d have a lot to write about but that’s not always the case. Sometimes, and a lot lately, I’m just blank.
2 // Apr 27, 2007 at 8:12 am
Gotta baby. All I am is in my head. I even over think about what I thnking. My thoughts consume me. I battle staying in the world - interacting with people. My favorite moments are in a full coffee house with people all around but I am in my head, not interacting with them but thinking about them. When did this occur - when the boys left home. I battled for awhile wanting to still know where they were and what they were doing. I didn’t want them to move back home - I just spent years caring for them every moment. Enjoy not being able to talk about you - because you will at some point be told probably by me to stop talking about yourself.
love you -
3 // Apr 27, 2007 at 8:25 am
“Have you ever gotten to the point where life is just swirling around you, and you are running yourself in circles (or into the ground), and you can’t seem to find a moment for a thought that is your own?”
YESSSSSS.
4 // Apr 27, 2007 at 9:11 am
I often have days when life overwhelms me, myself, and I. It’s part of being a mother, I think, because we tend to spread ourselves so thin. We always think of the kids or the husband or even, egads, the house before we think of ourselves.
We must stop and take time for us. Yes, I know, that’s more easily said than done, but we must strive for what my youngest daughter calls, “Me Time”.
5 // Apr 27, 2007 at 11:32 am
Hi Mel,
Every time I read your blog, I read YOU. I hear you and your thoughts and feelings about all that you write. You are your writing. Don’t you dare go away.
6 // Apr 27, 2007 at 1:20 pm
I totally get it!
~Bea–working to help women regain their dignity and dollars.
www.pinktruth.com
7 // Apr 27, 2007 at 3:55 pm
It’s like that now (the swirling thing) but it will go away and it will be about you again, even if only for a short time.
8 // Apr 28, 2007 at 4:27 am
Yes, and of course I still never take time for myself. Heck, even my bath time is interrupted by one screaming child or another just waiting to tattle on each other. UGH! Loved this entry by the way.
9 // Apr 29, 2007 at 5:22 pm
This is SO true for me too. Me? Who is that?
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